Wednesday, 27 December 2017

Things I have learnt this Christmas

As you know I have been out in charge of Christmas dinner. And by default, husband was away, I had to sort out all the presents... and school engagements... 
And I wished the Christmas would be here already some time around 15th December. 
I found it all super stressful... 

But as this blog post title suggests I learnt few things too. 
Firstly I understand how stressful it is to cook the Christmas dinner/lunch. We agreed that next year we are doing it together. 
Then it’s totally ok to ask for stuff that you want. But I did find it odd to do so and for the 1st time I bought stuff that hubby wanted and not to think about it my self. Made me feel very strange. But now I have the sleepers I wanted and tickets to see Scummy Mummies show. 
It’s super fun to be just at home with just family. We didn’t have anyone over, just us. We did what we wanted and when we wanted. 

And in the end of the day it is all about kids. 
We played with new toys. At some point husband and the child were jamming together on new toy guitar and toy piano. 

Hope you too had good holidays! Lots of love x

Tuesday, 26 December 2017

Tea advent review.

This year I thought instead of the rather pricy beauty advents I shall get myself a tea advent. 
I got this one from Amazon for like £15 

It seems like a good idea at the time... 
Today is 26th of December and it’s only half drunk. 
Some teas are great but I have this feeling that whoever designed these just chucked everything in. 
Like just now I had Moroccan Spice which is herbal tea with cinnamon, chicory, licorice, peppermint, ginger and orange and all I could taste was licorice and mint. Maybe my palet isn’t that refined but so is your average person...
So in total the tea discovery was interesting and fun, I most definitely don’t like roiboosh tea, but only 13 flavours and it got kind of boring. I will not be getting it again. Or maybe I just was so busy all December long... 

Sunday, 10 December 2017

Christmas traditions

I didn’t celebrate Christmas till 2006... yes, you read it right. And no I wasn’t in any cult or religions that doesn’t do Christmas. I just lived in Russia where Christmas is on 7th January for starters and we mainly celebrate New Year’s Eve... 

I also work in catering and hospitality so this means a lot of drunks and mischief so you really start to resent holidays a bit. 
But my husband love Christmas so I sort of love Christmas too! It rubbed off on me!

(Egg is ready to decorate the tree)

 All the tasty food, wonderful gifts, family time and fab Christmas specials on tele. Yes I am this excited about Dr Who! And also early bed if you want to... 
With arrival of Edgar our priority changed. House has to be very magical, Santa should be met... but Edgar is only three and really doesn’t care much. He wasn’t impressed with meeting Santa last year and really didn’t care about making cookies with Dada on Christmas Eve.... and he pulled the tree down last year and stayed under it not making noise and breaking his baby’s first Christmas bauble... 
But this little munchkin grew up so much even in last few months and Dada has 6 days off over Christmas so we are going to do many things. 
We made cards with little one. They still need some grownup adjustment and we made just couple... (so if you won’t get these don’t be upset)
We decorated the tree together. Some snow globes didn’t make it... 
We are going to make cookies and set a plate for Santa.
We are having a book advent. (Well almost) 
I will be introducing Christmas Eve box.
And we also going to go to Welsh Caroling service. 
And it’s just going to be three of us. So not to overwhelm little guy. We will be staying with family before the day. 
And mama is cooking Christmas lunch. I already did it twice and I think I know now what I am doing!

I had a make roasts twice. I never actually roasted anything in my life! Yeah shocker I know. So 1st attempt was a disaster chicken was undercooked so were the carrots, parspins but roasted potatoes were burnt! But the picture above is the second attempt and a success! 
So yeah if you never cooked the festive lunch before I would advise to try the dishes up and definilu follow the recipe! 

Saturday, 9 December 2017

Christmas business

I guess we can all agree that sometimes Christmas hype and shopping starts waaaay to early. Oh I am not objecting to start the shopping early to spread the coast but the advertising is too pushy and shops being decked out way too early. And advertising to kids, I just think it’s immoral. Not everyone can afford the newest and super pricy toys. I just wish there would be some law against it, or about being ethical when advertising... 
But some adverts are .. well full of Christmas spirit and are just so wonderful. 
Remember the man on the moon or the alarm clock for the bear from John Lewis? Actually brought me to tears both of these adverts!
And this year M&S with Paddington bear just made me so happy! We haven’t seen the second film yet but 1st film is like a cinematic hug and a favourite of my boy! 

But then every single email or insta post was raging about Black Friday, or urge to “check out our Christmas advert” and/or to shop from independent shops and local retailers... 
I would love to be able only to buy from independent shops, and I vote with my money as much as I can but there are limits to what I can afford. I am sure it is same for everyone else, we do what we can...
So basically what I am saying is that stop pushing adverts at kids and make more lovely ones like these two from this year!

I do hope the your holiday season will be just as warm and fuzzy as Moz and Paddington.
Lots of love x

Sunday, 26 November 2017


A friend of mine got in touch yesterday. We haven’t seen each other for years, I think it might be about 8 years if not more, he said our colleague when we all used to work in the bar has passed away and it was almost 2 years ago. He just found out. I had no idea either... 
This truly is shocking she was so young. And what I found more shocking that I had no idea this had happened. 
This news made me think about how life is busy and complicated. And short. How I don’t actually talk to people I used to live with, or people I used to work with... how all his social media meant to keep us connected but it is clearly not doing its job. But don’t worry I won’t forget to say happy birthday on your birthday, my Facebook will remind me. 
I suppose it is narual that not all our relationship meant to last... and how we know about what celebrity died and not a girl you used to work with for over a year. What does this say about our culture and society?! (It’s a rhetorical, and food for thought) 
Hopefully catching up for a drink soon with this friend of mine. It is well over due! 

Friday, 24 November 2017

Clearing out

When my mum was here I finally cleared out my wardrobe... this was difficult. 
After having Edgar my body obviously changes. And due to laziness and me not working I cannot justify gym nor I have time for it. Gosh sometimes I really miss it. I wouldn’t say I am super gym active or super sporty but I do miss that muscle ache you get after working out... same as I wouldn’t say I am super unfit. I walk a lot! But my body is a bit cuddlier than it used to be before I had Edgar. And it’s ok it’s natural even... 
But this change also means that I am still holding on to clothes that are too small or uncomfortable to wear. I also have a big hoard of vintage dresses that either too small or in need of some TLC. 
So I had to let go and actually admit that I am unlikely to lose weight or/and I won’t wear that skirt or that dress ever!

And it is super hard. Some clothes were loving worn and had some events attached to them like my wedding dress. Or sourced when I lived in London or awesome vintage faires or eBay. 
We packed Ikea bag full of stuff to sell and two bags full of stuff to donate. And one more bag to recycle at H&M. I know that most charity shops do recycle too but they only rely on volonteers so it doesn’t seem fair for them to dig through the bag that it is destined for the recycling. 
Yes you have read it right I am getting rid of my wedding dress. It was just a silk pink knee length and if anything I never actually fit into it. It was hard to breath in Bridget Jones type of underwear. But my huddy intervened and asked me not to sell it. Well we made a packed, if in 5 years we are having a second child, a girl, she can have it. But if not I will sell it. 
I am actually more attached to my wedding shoes, nude patent leather heel sandals from LK.Bennett I haven’t wore them for years and haven’t even tried them on (my feet got wide) and I won’t but I will keep these shoes! 
Selling stuff is proving difficult. I am using eBay. And every time a nice item doesn’t sell I want to question people’s taste. And sometimes mine! But I have a rule of letting go of my stuff. If it doesn’t sell and won’t be suitable to sell in summer I will donate the item. Also keep some stuff for my mate in Russia who if she won’t give me her measurement isn’t getting anything!  (Hint hint!)
Letting go is difficult, however I cannot stop now... 
I urge you to let go of things you don’t need in your life too. It is actually feel lighter and easier.... I also want to urge you shop more mindfully and really think before you buy. Especially since today UK embraces Black Friday marketing campaign. 

Sunday, 19 November 2017

Bullet Journal

Have you seen these crazy people with their free time and super organised and super pretty bullet journals? 
Well the instagram and YouTube is full of these lovelies.. 

this is from Boho Berry

Look how pretty this is! The details and colour are truly divine 

And look how neat this one is! 

I suppose I like the idea of making your own specially for you dairy. 
So what I have noticed I had 2 or 3 dairy and list books on the go, one for everyday, another for to do lists, and one for random notes and notes... then I thought well why not! 
I don’t have the world prettiest bullet journal... actually mine is quiet ugly and plain looking. I am a bit lazy and don’t have time really to make it super pretty. And to be honest I don’t see value in that. Just little stickers and a little doodle here and there... and just one colour pen. Well almost!

But it’s easy to use. And actually nice to sit down and make the grid and lists that I have. Some weeks are more busy than others and I just write down my to do things ... in the end of the day this works for me, for now I might change it. Well actually it will definitely change. I am just not are how! It wasn’t as scary as I thought it might be, so you too don’t be afraid give it a go! 

Thursday, 16 November 2017

So tired!

School run is the only reason that I know what day it is. But still I am not quiet sure. Lately Edgar hasn’t been sleeping long. I got excited yesterday when he god up at 5.50am... yes! It is his bad. 
But then child pretty much hated good night sleep all his life. And it is the favoured blog topic, a moaning posts... (here, here, here... and pretty much many more...  )
This Tuesday after a very emotional Monday I felt ever so tired. Tuesdays are my days, Egg is in preschool and then nursery collect him, so I just need to drop him off and collect him in he evening. 
This Tuesday I was planning to go shopping for myself. But I just felt so deflated and a bit overtired.... but I did a bit more complicated hair, wore red (a happy colour)... 

And in the afternoon I had a singing and dancing session for about 10 minutes and somehow my day got better. 
I suppose as long as you have something active to do and occupy the brain you don’t think that you have been waking up before 6am for 2 weeks. 
But yesterday, Wednesday, the tiredness hit me so hard. I went to bed at 9.30pm but Egg woke up at 4.30am, then finally after twice putting him back to bed we got up at 5.30am... I think I have passed about for about 40 minutes in between these times somehow. I will be going to bed early today again. And I am very much looking forward to this. It is currently 6.40am... 

Tuesday, 7 November 2017

Job hunt

I have actually finished my course. But it didn’t work out as well as I expected. I guess I should have gone with my gut feeling and take just administration course instead of medical. Which I have actually failed. Well not all of if but some modules therefore I can’t get a certification I set out to get a year ago. This wasn’t made clear to me when they sold me this course. 
To make matters worse it is sitting there on my credit card still begin slowly repaid. 

I also stil waiting for my admin diploma. These guys proving to be a bit unprofessional... 
However I got new skills now and that’s what matters. 
So this mama set of to look for a job. And I find it super hard. 
I cannot work any working hours like I used to. 
I have a child care to think about and I dream about this magical life and work balance. Mainly I just want to be working as great as mumming is I need to have conversation with adults! 

And so it began. I mainly get no reply or rejections but I have been on couple interviews. One in a city centre hotel who assured me to call me back with an answer in next few days it’s been two weeks. For a 4 star hotel it is very unprofessional! I get it will be a no but email or a a voice mail won’t kill you, Clayton hotel, or would it? 
Then I had a great interview with an amazing surveryer company. The job sounded really excited and my CV been picked up by their head office... but they aren’t located in the city centre and as much as they in Cardiff wanted to accommodate me they just can’t since decisions like change to work hours will have to come from head office. But they send me a lovely email with a promise to get in touch if a part time position will become available. 
Two temping agencies also got in touch. One for admin I am just waiting to hear back from and another catering. Apparently I am a magic unicorn of catering since I can do bar and silver service. But with both issue is that I do not have a passport on me it is in Home Office... you remember that I lost my purse with my residency card in it... Admin agency want to go through with contacting the Home Office but the catering didn’t seem keen but did email me their contact details in case my situation changes and I want to work with them. 
With all this I am getting more and more annoyed with lack of flexibility... like one job advert i looked at stated working days Monday and Wednesday but “make sure you are available all the week” 
I have an interview in next few days. It seems suitable. But then again one never knows. 
It is like I have been punished for not going to back to my work place after end of my maternity period and punished all together for being a mother, for choosing my child... 
This is pants!
Anyone else feels this way?

Friday, 3 November 2017


August and September were great! Egg slept well at night, not through but he would wake up at 6.45am or somewhere between that and 7.30am and once he even woke up at 8.45am. 
But then suddenly he became a hater or restful nights and lover of his super tired mama... we were up at 5am or 5.30 no later than that. Evil child! 

It was horrible horrible times! 
So I took to internet... 
There were two opinions among English writing parents, either go to bed earlier or go to bed later... 
The lady in our local shop who has 3 sons said that you just need to ignore them, they would put themselves back to sleep. 
Being a true believer in the child that goes to bed late wake up early, I have decided to ignore the cooing toddler by the gate of his room. That didn’t last. He is very persistent. So I thought well let’s try to go to bed about 7.30pm instead of 7pm. And it worked! Doesn’t work all the time but it works. I don’t feel as exhausted all the time as I used to. 
Now I am trying to break the milk and bottle habit. Parenting is a war zone really! I got these cute doggie cups from Ikea... and now he almost doesn’t have any milk before bed time. He really not fussed on these cups just yet. There is a lot of noises and grumpiness coming from his room after the bed time but he settles... 
Not sure how long this will last but I am optimistic. Like it took two days for Egg to fall asleep by himself so maybe couple of days more and I can ditch bottles and night milk all together... (yes I have tried before but after being ill for most of September and not eating milk became a great food substitute)

But all that said he work up at 5am today... and now we both are in need of a nap!

Saturday, 28 October 2017

Mama juice

I never smoked. Well I have tired when I was 18 I think but it really wasn’t something that I liked. Smelly, horrible flavour and then everything smells... 
But I never had this trouble with drink. 
It is fun, nice and relaxing to have a glass of wine or three after work. 
To be perfectly honest it was more like a bottle of wine a day. Not great. So after my mum flew home I have decided to cut down and be more mindful about my wine consumption. Wine is my drug of choice. Well I love gin too.... 

I always thought that I drink because I am bored. And well this is actually true, it’s easy to sit down in front of tv show and chill with some wine... and not so much since you are chilled with wine. 
So I stopped buying wine and start getting fizzy mineral water instead. Oh I love these bubbles. And you know it was strange the 1st day and now it is just magical. I maybe have a bottle of wine over couple of days but I chose a these days. 
I became more productive. I eat less. I sleep better. 
Last week wasn’t great I wasn’t feeling great so I medicated with wine. But I can only drink like 3 glasses at the time since why would I continue if I can’t taste wine. Right? 
I think it’s a little personal victory over one self. And my liver will thank me. Did you know that liver is the only organ that can repair itself. And it’s takes just 2 days. 
Actually when I first started not drinking after about a week I had a gin and tonic... well I was very drunk very quickly. That was a strange feeling! And I didn’t like it. Had to go to bed pretty much straight away.
I don’t want to go totally dry. I enjoy wine. But doing is less and more conscious is definitely better then just get cheap Shiraz every day. 
So I guess my body is a temple and it deserves better kind of fermented grape juice. 

Thursday, 19 October 2017

Managed to watch bunch of films...

I have been catching up on some movie time. So when I would go out to cinema I would try to watch couple of films. And different films. 

So lately I saw:

Victoria and Abdul 

I liked it. Interesting story based on real events. Dame Judy is truly a national treasure! 

Wind River. 
Again a good story, well told. Like the end screenshot I didn’t realised that there is no statistics for missing Native American women... truly heart breaking. However the main hero is a straight white man seems a bit problematic in this story. But good film. However since it seems so real I do not want to see it again. 

Home Again. 

I enjoyed it. It was lighthearted rom com. Some people don’t see the end to the story but it is similar to under the Tuscan Sun it’s an emotional denial journey. But of course it is not Under the Tuscan Sun. 

I really don’t know how I feel about this film. It was a bit meh... Diego Luna with no shirt on that I enjoyed. The rest of the film seem a bit... meh. 

American Assasin. 
It was also meh. An ok action, very far fetched. Micheal Keaton was fun to watch but that’s about it. 

Limehouse Golem. 
Now this film did enjoy. Love a nice dark Victorian mystery. Even if I guessed the outcome a while before the film ended. Great acting too! 

But also I saw few films that I haven’t seen before. I saw Tales form Earthsea and Nausicaa of the valley of the wind by studio Ghibli... 

I also realised that when at home I don’t want to watch films. So actually making a decisions to catch up on films at home.

 I watched Passangers, I loved the film but wanted the different ending, the Bad Batch, honestly not sure about this film or what happened in it, and I finally saw Blade Runner.... and have decided not to watch the new one.
I have been told that I haven’t seen the correct cut of the blade runner... I just couldn’t engage with it. However I see why this film is such a cultural phenomenon and how much it has influenced all the sci-fi films that followed.... but not something for me. Maybe I will give it another go but not just yet... 

School germs

My baby boy started the school. Well preschool. 
He isn’t very sure of it. But I love my few hours of freedom. 
Don’t get me wrong I love him so much, I didn’t think this kind of love was possible. But being on maternity for so long I begin to resent all this motherhood stuff a bit. So yes I am free for couple of hours while he is in school. 
I am free to catch up on housework in peace. I am free to finish my tea without anyone climbing on me... you get the gist. But with all new kids and experience come new germs. 

And they hit us hard. 
First it was Egg. I even had to keep him at home, he had temperature and had to lay down to have a cough. Calpol helped with initial symptoms but we had to have antibiotics. And day three he was ready to take them as long as it was followed by the milk. 
Then it was the husband. He managed to sleep on the sofa a lot in the afternoons and actually feels better. But he really wasn’t 1st few days... 
And I have it last. Nose is running, feel super tired all the time. And cough so much that I can’t actually sleep. And now I pulled some muscle in my back... so I am lacking motivation in everything. 
But he is going to stay over night at his grandparents so I can sleep in... this is a dream! And it is coming true!
I just wish there was like a school bug vaccination. Wouldn’t it be great?!

Saturday, 14 October 2017

It’s been a while

Hey hey, I know it’s been a while... few things are going on. 
Egg is still ill... that’s sucks. But he has been given antibiotics so that’s good. But he isn’t eating well that’s really bad, coz it’s been going on for a while now... poor baba. 
We are also doing some diy in the house. I am the master of gloss! Yes! (Yes that’s a thing I am proud of it! And if you have ever glossed in the small spaceyou deserve a medal and a title) 
I have been to the cinema and out for a quiz and to the show with hubby dearest. 
I am also pretty much done with my course and in search of the job. 
And I trying to bullet journal and drink less! 

Here is school run selfie with this happy chappy! 
So as you can imagine I have a lot to tell ... but not much motivation to sit down and write it down. But promise to be better! 

Lots of love for now xx and catch you really soon! 

Thursday, 28 September 2017

How much I love preschool

I loved how every weekday we got up and went to school. How well Edgar walks, how fast, how enthusiastic he is... and how I would leave him there for couple of hours and be just by my self. And then I get best cuddles! 

All is well... but on Saturday morning he spiked a fever and was really cuddly and sad. Not my usual happy bouncy boy. 

Calpol, milk and cuddles ... 
And then it lasted for 3 days! Took him to doctors, all is good just infection. So more calpol. 
And no school... 
Every time I think right tomorrow he would go to school, he starts coughing so bad that I realise he would scare everyone there. So he was off school all week long. 
And what a long week it was. 
On Monday we were meant to travel and stay over night in Bristol so see Bush. Last time we saw Bush it was 5 years ago... 
I couldn’t dump him on my mother in law same as I couldn’t tell husband not to go. I am not that kind of person. He had a great time, and he touched Gav. So he is well happy. 
But as little one was getting better he was becoming more bored and demanding. As some point he was actually boucing on my head... I wanted to go away somewhere and not come back. But then he cuddle me and gave me a big big smile! ... and suddenly I am ok to have more kids. Yes, he was so difficult that I was considering either never to have sex again or to tie my tubes up... 
And now I am sitting in a pub killing time until my next film. Quiet me time. It is nice. But I will miss the bath time.. and chasing him around his bedroom with a towel and I am a bit sad. 

Saturday, 23 September 2017

Quick diy. Weekend project

I am a coffee drinker. A while back I started using a French press for my coffee so I will not drink coffee all day long. 
Cleaning French press is annoying. And seems like a lot of waste. Can you repurpose the grains? 
Or better yet what do you do when you buy truly awful coffee and can't drink it? 
I made a body scrub! 

And it was easy! 
I used just three ingredients but you can use more. 
I used coffee that to horrid to drink, but next time will use the used coffee, sugar and coconut oil. The latter you might think is expensive but I got my organic from home bargains for like £2.50 for a big jar! 
I combined coffee and sugar in the bowl melted the coconut oil in the microwave and poured into the bowl with dry ingredients. Looked for the scrub like texture. 
It will solidify after a while but I just place the jar into the shower with me to soften the scrub before using. 
The caffeine supposed to be good for skin, coconut oil leaves the skin nice and soft. Just don't shave after you will block your razor with coconut oil. 
As for an extra ingredients I suppose you can add the essential oil for the different sent, but I quiet like coffee and coconut combo just not in the cup!

Friday, 22 September 2017

Routine and identity

I had this perfume for about 3 years and finally finished it. Somehow it feels satisfying.. and it smelled so lovely. I just love the fruitiness of Escada's sents.

I pretty much alsways used to wear makeup to work or/and to study. It was part of my routine. Get up, shower, dress, do the face. 
Not like foundation and stuff I have no clue about things like that but a bit of eye shadow, or eyeliner yeah. I would feel naked without. 
But then I had Egg and everything changed. No no I didn't skip shower for weeks. That remained the same. I just started doing things with audience. And still do. We shower in the mornings together. I actually recently while my mother was here so I tired to have shower by my self only to have a toddler running in after couple of minutes and getting naked with a speed of light and jumping in next to me... 
However something else I became sort of a slob... more like a lazy person and who doesn't really care. 
Well I never been much for mani, hair doing and such. Always think that life is too short for that. But having earrings, or other accessories... and mascara on, that was me. 
Now I am actually tying to make an effort to get me back into my usual self... ether getting jewellery on or having a bit of make up on. And always a spritz of perfume. I actually keep two bottles my where I keep my keys so every time I go out I spritz some on and smell wonderfully! 
Regaining the identity is difficulty especially after 3 years of constant parenting... I am not saying I'm lost but some things about my old self I miss. However, now I know it is not the end of the world to go meet people with no makeup on. Trainers are comfortable shoe ware especially if you are walking for miles or chasing a child around... 

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

My mama's visit

Last two weeks were busy. As you know Egg started preschool and my mother came to visit. 
And of course nothing is easy with us... she was meant to get here on Wednesday so I got the phone all at 4am Wednesday morning asking how far was Gatwick from Cardiff. Yes at 4am. And yes this sort of question. 
Turns out her plane was delayed by 10hours... 
And when she got here on Thursday she didn't ring to say what time she would arrive to Cardiff. Damn I was worried. Even called my step dad but reassured me saying it's probably her phone... and you know it was. 

We had lots of fun!
We went to street food festival, Egg wasn't a fan at 1st but did enjoy playing with all the fun tuktuks 

It's a great place to take your family and friends and even grouchy kiddies. Even in the rain. It is still here for his weekend so if you haven't been go eat something fun and sit in a cool disused transport.
We been to the pool twice, drunk beer, shopped pretty much till we dropped and mum did kick us out for dinner just the husband and me...

We went to a fancy restaurant but about this next time. 
We also spend time cooking eating and wine drinking. And we walked... a lot! Considering she used to run marathons she was so tired at 1st. But think I got her into a walking mood. She did ask for me to count up the kilometres we walked in these two weeks. 
It was super nice to have her here. She seemed rested, even if she did insist on doing stuff. And we didn't have a massive argument, everyone is amazed! 
She is safely home already. And I got to say I miss her already! 

Sunday, 17 September 2017


I might have been a bit quiet lately. Not only because my mother is visiting at the moment but also because my little munchkin started pre-school. 
And we survived... just about.
I just still cannot quiet believe that he is already starting school, he is actually one of the youngest kids there. But not the smallest! 
We started two days with half of our class for two days and then from this Wednesday with all the kids. 
Well Egg being Egg was ever so upset for three days and now he goes in and seems happy.

On the day one school had to call me to say that the child settled and now playing outside. But he was still looking for the way out of the school. Actually made them get another gate for the door to the "big" school. And this Friday when I dropped him off he still didn't want to wear shoes but he walked in and let go of my hand. And when we came back to pick him up he was sitting munching on the pineapple and wasn't interested in leaving. 

But the school of course brought up the fact that he doesn't listen and doesn't really talk. However there has been a little update on that front. He is making more words or at least attempting them and we got another audiology (hearing doctors) appointment. 
But school school is great. And I think will need to take Welsh too! 
I also cannot wait for him to make friends and me meeting other parents! 

Saturday, 2 September 2017

There is no such thing as a Gruffalo!

About a year ago my mother in law got us tickets to see Gruffalo on stage in New Theatre in the end of summer. We pretty much been waiting for this for about a year. Well I was.
All the recent cinema visits were disastrous when we had to leave after about 20 mins of the start of the film. I was very worried. 
Also the pushy box office lady sold us tickets right in the front and in the middle... this didn't help my anxiety about out first theatrical visit.
Also my little cutie pie was a really difficult all week... maybe he is that threenager stage when it's only his way or no other way. But he doesn't talk so this resolves in massive tantrums. 

When I saw the flocks of children all different ages I have relaxed. My demon baby won't cry first. 
But he had a major melt down when his pram been folded and taken away. 
Then he didn't want to take his sit. But followed me anyway. Note to all the parents bring snacks, sweets and raisins kept him busy while he was trying to figure out that the play was actually fun and interesting. 
Well the Gruffalo is a great show. Egg was interested, he was looking on stage with excitement. I think he understood and even roared at the roary bit when we were scaring the fox. I laughed loudly too so did my mother in law. Everything was good. But bully the end he got a bit fed up and accidentally banged his head on the armrest. Poor monkey was really upset. 
Leaving the theatre there was of course a big queue but some one wasn't happy. I had to drag him into the corner and leave him to tantrum. It was bad. I felt bad. It was so publicly but it was the best thing I could do. I couldn't leave and he wouldn't calm down. One lady offered to call for help, another said she would take him. We have a little chat about the drama and how much we enjoyed the show. And then he came down. 
I guess the people who offered help either thought he is different, and that I looked young and stressed I guess. But the concern was generally coming from kind place and I didn't feel judged... 
but all and all it was a very nice experience and good things definitely outweighed the bad. 

(Angelic appearances are deceiving)

But he threw 2 more bigs ones.
He wanted to walk in different direction than me and almost run out on the road. So I had to grab him and put him in the pram and tell him off. 
I seem to do a lot of this at the moment. Just keep saying that I am the boss not him and listening to him being annoyed and cry. 
My arms muscles hurt from wresting with this threenager but I can win this. I know. I just need sleep. 

Monday, 28 August 2017

Bank holiday. Hot day.

This last bank holiday treated us with some glorious sun and clear sky. And sleeping if you are a toddler is super hard. It's just warm.
Also I really didn't want to do anything so naturally I packed up the swimming stuff we had in the house, bikini for me and trunks for the child (our regular more suitable for pool adventure stuff was at my in laws) along with water wings we heard out for about 40 mins hike to the pool. 
So I naively thought we will be there right after opening time so it should be crowed and surly people would rather go the beach or something. Well we were greeted by this... 

I wanted to run back home and hide. But I thought I shall not be defeated by this and to be fair the queue moved really quickly. Must be some technical difficulty, or something along these lines. 
And pool was fun. Although kid tired to climb all over jacuzzi bit and were whistled at, and he is really strong willed yet totally lost without me. I put him on top the silde telling him I will meet him on the bottom he didn't hear and looked a bit lost... but all is well.
Then he had a cheeky meatballs in Ikea while I had a salad and admired his apetite after an hour long swimming. And of course took some photos 

All was going well and after a nap we went around the block for a scoot 

Well note to self. A tired child who was up early and after the pool will get hot and bothered rather quickly after scooting on the hot afternoon. Some people enjoyed the look of a super mum with a three year old on her shoulders holding legs with one arm while carting a scooter with another. 

All these things seem like a nightmare on the bank holiday. I think they would have been if I didn't have a child to entertain. We were active, we had fun, he had a tantrum or two but so did other kids with their parents. It was busy but I don't care, child and I had fun and that's the most important thing. 

Saturday, 26 August 2017

Too much of the good thing

Well it was too good... just too good..
For about a month the little one sleeps through the night and if he does wake up then only for a second. 
And he wakes up about 6.30am and sometime even 7.30... and few days ago he got up at 8.30am! 
I thought we conquered the sleep thing... or did we?

On Friday we went for a long walk in the Bute Park. But we didn't take a usual route we went by the river, there is small foot path there. So Egg could just run ahead of us and be actually totally safe, no bikes around.  

Here he is looking for big stones. 
We got home a bit later then dinner time and pretty much since 5pm until bath at 6.30pm he didn't stop eating and grazing. 
And the next day he was up at 5am... and was up a lot at night. We got him over tired and over fed. 
I thought it was a one off. I hope it's one off. 
Today he woke up at 5min to 5. This is progress right? 
But I am exhausted. There is always so much to do when you are stay at home parent. Even if I went to bed around 10 last night. Yeah I am this rock'n'roll Saturday night I was in bed at 10pm
So what we have learnt. I need sleep! Don't overtire and overfeed your kid before bed.  

Monday, 21 August 2017

Relationship with body and with running!

I am a lazy person. If I do not feel like going running I won't. I sort of wish I was more well committed to running! But it is also comes with the fact that I don't actually have time, not really. Hubby works silly hours to keep me at home before Egg goes to school. When little one is in nursery I either catch up on house work or I am studying. Sometimes I am so busy that I do not get to sit down till like 9pm and then ideally I need to be in bed around 10pm because the kid will be awake early ... so I give myself a permission to be lazy... also I am taking a year off races. I blogged about this before but it is something I still struggle with. And not only that... I feel a bit guilty that I don't run. 
In a way I guess I gave myself a permission to be lazy. 
But and here is a bit but... I guess. I like me better when I was a bit leaner. Not necessarily thinner but leaner more tonned. 

(Big cheeks and very big hair)

I haven't been light thin since I was 15 and I am
Ok with it. I am also ok with my changed body after having Egg. I do miss sometimes going braless. And I am ok that I am more of the size 12 now. It's ok to gain weight and ok not to be the same, and I am happy with my body. I grew a human I can walk with no trouble for over 10k daily, my body is amazing! 

I was meant to go for a run with a friend but she had to cancel I actually felt a bit disappointed that we can't go for a run but I didn't go by my self... I did some cooking and tidy a bit. 
It feel like I have not only taking a year off races but year off running and this isn't my aim. 
And also just last week I have listened to Scummy Mummies talking to Ruth Field who wrote Run fat bitch run. She said that running is just really good for you, which is true especially now that I am in my thirties, and that it is easiest and cheapest exercise there is. Like I didn't know it before. But having some one else saying it, it made me sad I gave up on it. So here it goes at next available moment I shall go out a run! 

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Growing up

One of my friends from high school posted this picture on Facebook

It says "Friends are like stars. You don't see them all the time but they are here" and it's a great sentiment and became really true for me since becoming a mother. I think my friends Marzena and Eva would agree. We all used to work together and had great relationships but since they had their boys we barely see each other. Also the fact that they don't reside in Cardiff but are in smaller towns in South Wales. And I am jealous of their sea views!
Last week very inexpected I got a message from my university friend Lindsey who I haven't seen in years. 
So we met up had a good chat and a coffee. Sadly she lives all the way in Tenby. Once again jealous of the sea views... it was so nice to see her even if only for few hours. 

We both are mothers now and share the same struggles with lack of sleep. Even if we haven't been talking we still have common interests, like making random foods like kimchi and kefir (well I get mine from Continental shops), like raising boys, books we don't have time to read. 
However when I am random pottering around and going back to study she started her own business. So big shout out to The Wildflower Nursery! 

Sunday, 13 August 2017

From free range toddler.. little wins

Raising humans is hard. I guess I never thought it would be easy but I didn't expect my kid to have such strong will and be so vocal about having stuff his own way... yes the same kid that doesn't talk.
Besides trying to get him to talk we also trying to "break" modify his behaviour. And of course he is at his worst with me. Typical. 

Basically I had to always give in to avoid the meltdown. It's easier. Yeah sure my world revolves around him, but I should not be bullied by a three old who thinks running around the trousers around the ankles is so fun and so great! 
Now I tell him no. Or I explain why I do not think jumping into the wall is not safe. It usually resolves in a end of the world yell but he does as I tell him. And more often now he complies without much argument. 
Like last week I was super pleased that he was helping me at launderette without much grouching and getting into trouble. And he didn't want to be these he would just sit in the pram. 
I also can tolerate him yelling, not crying, for much longer. This also means that I can actually do some stuff and don't need to wait for him to be asleep. It's a nice change. 
It's little wins every day. No matter how long. I'm in this war for a long term. 
Just must remember that I am doing it for his own good and my future sanity. I am not very sane now but it will go back I hope. Hubby also hopes to get me back. Apparently I am different since having Egg. But this story is for another day. 

Life with no washing machine. Rant!

I understand that the thing I am about to rant is a privilege and I really have no right to... but I am super annoyed and well, hope you will learn from my mistake. 

Two and a half weeks ago as I was putting Edgar to bed my washing machine started making this rattle noise that I had to abandon reading Gruffalo and run downstairs... the washing machine drum had pretty much fallen out. 
"Damn", I though! This will cost as much to repair as getting a new one. And we have had it with the house when we bought it... so t was used and actually older model really... 
Only once we didn't have a washing machine, when we loved him Bath. But there was a launderette pretty much next door... and when we had to buy one we went wth Argos, that was on the next street when we lived in Birmingham. 
Hubby convinced me to get a washer dryer in one. I won't dry stuff all the time but sure it will be helpful. And once again I went with Argos.

After the massive disaster with the online payment when my card been charged twice and I had no order number... yes that actually happened. Two phone calls, one to Argos (the lady on the otter side was very apologetic and explained that the money will be retired to me but she couldn't give me any time and frankly wasn't sure why this happened but it did happend before) and to my bank who informed me that matter been resolved and the funds been returned. Thank you bank! I went to the Argos shop. ("Next time use A.O. 2 day delivery," said a helpful memener of staff in my school)... Machine I actually wanted wasn't available but my second choice was there. Lady on the till explained that with in 5 days I will be getting a phone call and 2 hours prior to delivery too. So at latest by next Monday I would be able to wash stuff and not have mount of washing... 
Yeah right! I got a text informing me about the delivery being in 2 weeks time... 
Not a happy bunny I called and asked why. "Oh it was pushed back" why?! They weren't sure. Perhaps it wa s that the item wasn't available... so if this is the case why couldn't I get my 1st choice then... 
At this point I wished I've cancelled my order and looked else where. But I thought I will give them a call back. I have been in touch with Tesco who was much more helpful on the phone and explained the delivery to me. Well it would be the same time. It wasn't worth a hassle.... 
But the milkaholic like to get nuddy in the night and wee in the bed... I need to wash things. We do have enough clothes to last us but not with Egg's bedding. 
Thank you my friend Viera who picked up a load and dropped if back off with me in 2,5 hours. 
And I have been to my local launderette. Peace and quiet all by myself. But yesterday I had to take little one with me. He charmed them all there. But it was difficult. And over this time I have spend anot £50 just on doing laundry... and I have paid for my washing machine... this makes me so mad! 
One good thing, I now I know my neibouhood a bit better. One of the ladies working in the launderette lives around the corner from us. And another lady told me that she has a grand daughter how old she was etc... and she was really praising my little one which we both loved and were ever so grateful. 

Thank you Argos for being so unhelpful! Wasting my money and my rate free time!  And I shall not use your home delivery ever again! 

Saturday, 5 August 2017

(Not) talking Wonder

Edgar is almost 3! 
I cannot believe this, it like it was just yesterday I was waddling around with a massive bump thinking of what to name my little egg...
And he doesn't talk....
When Egg was about 18 months old he used to sing Twinkle Twinkle and so a little star with his hands. He used to call us mama and dada and call all small animals bunny. Well my mother's cats were bunnies. 

And now he doesn't say much. Only bird language. Lots of different noises. Sometimes he would say a word or even two and then won't say them again... 
I am pretty convinced that he is just stubborn. We know voice and words are there. He just can manipulate us to get his own way.... 
But then we also have all these medical professionals around us. We saw speech and language therapist (SLT), paediatrician and regular visits to our health visitor (HV)... I really didn't find SLT helpful she produced a terrible report based on her observations. Well if she was observing my child for 2 hours she would have noticed that he isn't wearing nappies and wouldn't tell me about how he "didn't ask to be changed"... so I am not convinced and not a fan. Paediatrician thought Egg was brilliant but couldn't see anything so referred us to one who specialises in development. 
We are also waiting for audiology appointment later this month and neurodevelopment too. 
With the HV we are trying to modify Edgar's behaviour... he is spirited and like his own way is the only way. This is actually works... he listens and is calmer.... 

But all this is so stressful. However, I am optimistic and positive that he is just stubborn... 

Well in any outcome... my boy is amazing.

So for all the mamas and papas out there who are struggling with the same or similar issue, it will be better and stay positive and have faith in your kids abilities. 

Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Taking a year off...

Ever since I have discovered I can run I was doing races pretty much every summer. Exception was when we have moved away from Cardiff but even then I still did Surivial of the Fittest in 2013 and Birmingham half the same year. 
Admittedly since Edgar came into our lives I exercise less even ... not at all... I still managed few races and even got the dream time of 10k in 58min. 

Yeah it's a great time for some one who doesn't really take running seriously! 

But this year I felt the pressure to go running. The pressure to do the races. And I didn't feel happy about it. So I maybe run once this year by my self and once with the club. But as for races... I am taking a year off. 
I wouldn't say I am out of shape. We still walk a lot. Thank you Fitbit for keeping me on track. But races are complicated. I need to sign up on time and with enough time to train. Also I want to do as many as I can and can afford. Yes these things cost money. Not much but it all adds up. Also usually races are on Sundays so I need a sitter. And not many people can and will... if before it was just the matter to scoff down some bagels with peanut butter and banana, pin the race bib on and do the race now it is more complicated... I need to arrange very much in advance and I need to work to have disposable income. But mainly a mate to watch Egg. 
So since I have not run much but I still feel the bug I responsibly taking a year off. This won't be enjoyable running, besides toddler needs me still and I need to not stress about running... I have enough stress as it is. 

Monday, 24 July 2017

Fighting with my milkaholic

My almost 3 year old has a terrible milk habit. When i hear other parents saying how they had a bad night their kid woke up once I want to cry and tell them they don't know how lucky they are! Truly! 
For last three years I can count on one hand how many times Egg slept throw the night. It was 3 times. Three glorous nights... 
So every time he would grouch in the night we would give him a bottle with milk. Yes we are bad. And he still has bottles. Yes yes I know.
So after having a nice chat with Health Visitor last week, she said he needs a uninterrupted sleep, and so do we. It is linked to their development and you know... it's a sleep!! 
Basically we had to suck it up and not give him milk. And guess what two difficult nights and now he pretty much sleeps throw until he wakes up. 

(Here is my tiny terror with his new love Welsh cake)

But last few days he was up at 4am and 4.30am and refused to go back to sleep... and he gets naked... with all the wet consequences...
However today he cried out at 2am I went to check on him, dressed him and fixed the bed as much as I could without disturbing him much. I put a pair of boxers over this pull up nappy... he got up at after 5am. 
This makes me wonder what would happen if I get him into nappy and pants, or dressed him in a night before he wakes up... and would we wake up at 6am in two days time?
Also since we cut the milk consumption and I recycled most of his bottles he rather happily drink out of a mug. It also results in cutest milk mustashe!
And also did I mention he uses the toilet and only wears nappy at night time... or you know not really. We can't manage a number 2 while wearing big boy pants just yet but it's a win none the less!

Little victories count! Every single one of them. I am slowly tacking this toddler thing and slowly becoming more of myself... not just Edgar's mama. 

Saturday, 22 July 2017

System behind the madness. Blog content.

Few days ago I finally got to play with this blog on laptop rather then iPad or a phone... 
and it made me wonder why do I keep doing it and why don't I have a proper little theme to it... you know these blogs that only have one purpose and one subject to it... 

I suppose it is always been my trouble. I am just into many many things. 
Making, running, shopping, cooking, eating, drinking, cinema, reading... but now I look at this list and really don't think I do this much of any of this. Now I am mainly mumming. 
But surly it is not a bad thing to have many little passions and interests... 
Well the Mininmalists (I mentioned them in previous post here) would say that you need to pick one passion and cultivate it for a bit then get another one...  I don't know if I can do it. Ever. 
Especially since becoming a mama... a stay at home for now mama. (I understand that not everyone can become parents or be stay at home ones.... but sometimes I feel like I lost in piles of washing, nursery rhymes and activities that should make my boy more developed and amazing like a unicorn!)
But I digress... 

I just want to be able to do stuff that I used to before I became a parent... but in the end of the day I just want to sit down and veg out in front of tv with a glass of wine... 

I guess we all change. And we change more dramatically once we become parents. 
So what I am staying is people are always changing. Change is good. 
I started blogging about one thing but I am not the same person as I was in 2010. But as for having several things to be passionate about I think it is also cool, just tackle one at the time. And I hope it make for an interesting and fun read! 

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

And the internet goes mad

So new doctor who is Jodie Whittaker and the internet went mad... a woman doctor what?!

I enjoyed the new Doctor and the Christmas specials and all the fun and sometimes scary and unexpected twists and turns. And frankly I didn't think much about who is going to be a new doctor. Until I was listening to Scummy Mummies podcast and when Helen Thorn's daughter said wouldn't it be nice if next doctor would be a girl... like a little light bulb went off in my head, yeah really why can't it be a woman. 
 12th doctor was so much fun, thank you Peter Capaldi! And the new companion Pearl Mackie's character Bill was gay. Honestly the episode with Romans and discussion about sexuality made me chuckle and it was just so as a matter to fact! Also very sad to see her leave the show. I loved Bill...

The show is about kindness, bravery and love. Doctor is always trying to help everyone! 
But all this not only just a great show it also shows kids that it's all good qualities and being different is ok and even cool... 
So when doctor regenerates doctor can be anything. And even maybe with tentacles. Pretty sure one of the doctors actually says so after the regeneration. So why can't the doctor be a woman?!

Yes BBC did a big announcement of this. And it is a bit deal. It's an important show and for the 1st time in Dr Who history, 50 years, Doctor is a woman. I guess they also anticipated the reaction....
What annoys me is that some of these haters don't even watch the show... or supporters of the choice of actor say that they will actually watch the show. I say no your opinions are not valid here you don't watch it and probably never will.

It is most certainly NOT political correctness gone mad. The show needed a new actor the show got the new actor. And yes this might inspire bunch of young girls and tell them that they can be anything. Just like bunch of young girls growing up now and in the 80s thinking that having a female prime minister is totally normal (politics aside it is just representation).

If she can see it she can be it!

But what about the boys you say? Well from the beginning the Doctor was a remarkable number of wonderful male actors, wouldn't you agree?
Personally I am more sad about  Steven Moffat has left the show too... I truly loved the episodes that he did.... 
But it is going to be fun, new Doctor, new writers, new companion! 
Super exciting change is upon us can we just be happy and look forward to new season?

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Food festival with toddler

I love summer time festivals in Cardiff. Used to look forward when tourist information office would dropped off the booklets for summer festivals in the city.
And my favourite by far is the food festivals in the bay. Last year we were really lucky to go on he day when Welsh football team were coming home. Town was super busy and t was nice a peaceful in the bay. So baring this in mind I have decided to pick up my mother in law and the child and we went down on Friday afternoon. 
But the child decided not to nap.. I hate when he refuses to nap. He was tired and grumpy... and very loud in his complaint about the situation he had created him self... 
We couldn't stay at any stalls for too long, or one of us would nose around while the other would push the pram around. 
We gave in in the end. He was happy running about and jumping off things but then wanted to be carried around. Damn this child is thin but sooo heavy! 

Pretty much only time he was happy was when he mounted the snow dog. 
But I sill managed to get few bits and bobs, like wonderful homemade natural cordials (had some with prosecco already) and a lovely pie from Wessex Pantry. And I don't even like pies! But these guys make excellent pies!

So I would definitely recommend to go and sample and buy and eat and drink and have a dance down the bay this weekend! 

Trip to V&A

I had a London trip again last week this time to get visa for little one to go to Russia. So I thought must combine the business and pleas...