Very Small Feet

Social media is great. You can keep in touch with friends, get news, find funny or interesting thing and feel like a total shit that you didn’t take your kid to a pumpkin patch... it’s ok he went with school and really didn’t care much. Besides making memories is different for everyone. And besides half term is busy for us catering people. Who would get your plates to you? Don’t forget to tip your waiting staff! I’m usually very well adjusted and see past the pretty pictures and “real” people. But somehow I feel a bit strange this time around... (to be honest all the people I follow are generally nice and well adjusted without much staging and fakery)  And maybe I just want to be some where sunny...  You know we all are different have different abilities and things to keep us happy... so it’s ok not to do much.  We are busy at work with hubby. But little one will go for one day to his grandparents, we will carve a pumpkins and do stuff. But I have nothing planned. I

So today something strange has happened... I woke up before the child. This never happens. Kid wakes up early. Like stupid early!  Most of the time 6am is exciting 6.30 is a dream!  I also have this vague memory of when I used to sleep on my days off... and that with a child nothing will change! Hahaha!!!  So coz he wasn’t awake my mind went to dark places. What if something happened to him in a night. What is he chocked.... and why is the husband not worried... so it was a relief to hear his little cooing around 7.30 and then sound of feet running into our bedroom and his happy face looking at me and demanding kisses. He just held my head and moved his cheek to my lips and away about 10 times.  I mean why did I worry? What can happened? Is that what mum’s worry is like. And why didn’t husband worry? Am I overthinking stuff?  I guess my mother is the same and perhaps it is her fault. She texted husband because I didn’t reply to her calls, my phone didn’t register them. I got slightly a

I don’t think life is about balance. I mean it is my go to joke with customers about having wine and dessert. Yes I tell bad jokes, sue me! People love me.  Life well is just life. And it’s all diffident no size fits all...  So let’s play a game! Find this child  I am not good at den building. But I’m good as ensuing people, and fur babies, who depend on me are all covered. Husband can have pasta for dinner again and I will eat maybe some cheese, but kid will have what he likes, maybe sushi rice with grilled chicken and black olives, cat will have the food she likes and bunny will be let out once a day to hop around... (don’t worry husband I’m planning to make pork ragu on Tuesday)  I might look like a hot mess but I tend to have plan. I had a bit of a meh moments this week.  I went to work meeting in a diffident city, how exciting but it made me all stressed and feel a bit shit. Work haven’t been busy, just you know work. I haven’t been as active and I hoped and this rain brings me do