Very Small Feet

My baby boy started the school. Well preschool.  He isn’t very sure of it. But I love my few hours of freedom.  Don’t get me wrong I love him so much, I didn’t think this kind of love was possible. But being on maternity for so long I begin to resent all this motherhood stuff a bit. So yes I am free for couple of hours while he is in school.  I am free to catch up on housework in peace. I am free to finish my tea without anyone climbing on me... you get the gist. But with all new kids and experience come new germs.  And they hit us hard.  First it was Egg. I even had to keep him at home, he had temperature and had to lay down to have a cough. Calpol helped with initial symptoms but we had to have antibiotics. And day three he was ready to take them as long as it was followed by the milk.  Then it was the husband. He managed to sleep on the sofa a lot in the afternoons and actually feels better. But he really wasn’t 1st few days...  And I have it last. ...

About a year ago my mother in law got us tickets to see Gruffalo on stage in New Theatre in the end of summer. We pretty much been waiting for this for about a year. Well I was. All the recent cinema visits were disastrous when we had to leave after about 20 mins of the start of the film. I was very worried.  Also the pushy box office lady sold us tickets right in the front and in the middle... this didn't help my anxiety about out first theatrical visit. Also my little cutie pie was a really difficult all week... maybe he is that threenager stage when it's only his way or no other way. But he doesn't talk so this resolves in massive tantrums.  When I saw the flocks of children all different ages I have relaxed. My demon baby won't cry first.  But he had a major melt down when his pram been folded and taken away.  Then he didn't want to take his sit. But followed me anyway. Note to all the parents bring snacks, sweets and raisins kept him busy while he was trying to...

Mama's life is hard and it's very hard to find quiet time. I miss just sitting down and maybe crafting or just chilling, or having friends over or just a bath...  Now with Big Guy all these things need to planning ahead. Yes I have to plan time in the bath. It's this intense. But I do get some quiet time every so often, when Edgar naps... I listen to podcast. Yes my regular favourites like Kermode and Mayo, No Such Thing as the Fish, Answer me this and Scummy Mummies.  But I have discovered the new ones recently and I want you to have a have a listen to... so here it goes. The Guity Feminist  They explore out noble goals in achieving equality for all while being super funny and yet super unsightful. This week they were talking about raising feminist boys which is a topic close to my heart. And if only I could get my hubby to give a go too...  Then the creator of GF created Global Pillage. I always laught out loud to the silliness and enginiousnes of the comedians at ...

We have been busy and doing a lot of fun stuff...  Like just going to the pool. Not usual swimming lesson but just swimming. And Egg loved it. Kicking the water all the time and jumping off the side. Not independently thanks goodness but almost there.... I think he jumps 3 times without holding my hands. We also had a really good time in Wagamama and little man eat most of his food, also Daddy's chilli squid and most of my noodles!  We also had a coffee date just few days ago... I really needed a latte and little man had a babycinno. Well he enjoyed sticking the spoon into it and swish it about. And we also had our very first cinema trip. Finding Dory was lovely. I had to go see it again because we had a wonder around and he had enough after about a half a film. Which is good I thought.  We came in early so he could see what the cinema was all about and the popcorn of course.  It is wonderful that there are these early sho...

So me and Edgar were pretty much just me and Edgar... And daddy on his days off. But mainly for almost two years it was just me and little man.  It was wonderful, fun, learning experience , super tiring, and all sort of other craziness that mumming comes with. But from the last month we committed to nursery and started to go there from 1st of August.  Our nursery offers settling sessions. So two out of four were great. He came in happy and went off playing straight away. They just can't feed him. But that will come. The last two sessions he had to be pulled off me by staff. Tears and screams. And my heart was breaking. My brain understands that it is just an act and it's won't be like this all the time... But my heart still breaking.  For the 1st time he was staying longer than two hours yesterday. And the tears! His little face was all red and wet from being so upset about me leaving him. But then after I have stopped feeling like the worst person ...

I think Edgar started teething when he was about 4 months old... Everything was a chew toy, drool.  There are so many parents around who are having sleepless nights because the little ones are grumpy and in pain. My cousin's little boy had everything, high temperature, diarrhoea on top of sleepless nights.  I was mentally preparing for this since November. And we got some grouchy days when we wanted just cuddles and teething gels. Some nights he would wake up nibbling on his blanket... And no teeth in sight!  So imagine my shock when he smiled at me yesterday showing two little teeth on the way out. One happy baby and one super happy mama!  I don't know if this will be always like this ... One can hope! 

Nothing can prepare you for this... No matter how prepared you think you are. Hey I was supposed to have a nice water birth... I thought I was terrible at this to start with. I couldn't calm him down, he wouldn't feed properly I was so stressed out and worried. So my baby blue kicked in. I have never been depressed in my life, down at times, but never like that. Scary.  I am all better now. Happy, provided Sir Poops-a-Lot is not grouchy or even if he is grouchy. He is my amazing baby! It is still very strange to refer to him as "my son" or think of my self as mum. I am trying not to over think about this too much... and the fact that somehow I feel older. Maybe because my only grey hair made an appearance again. Egg is being more active every day. He stopped hating his bouncy chair and we have been to baby massage classes. Got a cute certificate. And have been looking for a baby club/play group to join, more for me I think than for Edgar. So I ...

On the 15th August my waters broke... Then on the 17th I heard my Milky Boy scream...  We had a really bad bad labour and a very long one, ended up with failed attempt with forceps and then a c section. So much for never being in hospital...  Milky Boy is a big boy, he was 9 pounds 4 ounces, 4kg 200gr for my metric friend... And he eats loads!  Considering how awful the labour has been, having my baby here is amazing! I still feel funny about being a mother, I'd rather not think about this as a life changing thing or as a new role. I take it every day as it comes and one problem at the time... that includes being peed on! So far I had a bit of baby blues... amazing it did not turn into full on depression!  Just holding him makes me so happy. We also discovered the joys of formula milk, that baby of ours eats soo much, so we have to top him up. And joys of dummy. Last one is very recent and saved me from being used as a dummy and now I ca...

I have started a new job... It took forever to find, and I would not say it is a dream job, but it's a nice full time position. It is really nice to be back in the hotels again. But I guess I still did not gave up on becoming a personal trainer. But not yet...  On that note... today I did an intensity class, it was actually so hard. I did not think that I can star jump with 5kg in each hand. God it was hard, I am actually a bit scared how I will be feeling tomorrow. But I also want to tell you about my obsession... Cassandra Clare and her Mortal Instruments books. I am obsessed! I cannot put my kindle down, work does really interfere with my reading. I am on the third book now. So as you know film is out and have been looking forward to it  and I actually already seen it twice. Thinking of it I might go see it the 3rd time. I think I actually formed an opinion about this film. I think it was the best what they could have done and actors are spot on... Ma...