Thursday, 16 November 2017

So tired!

School run is the only reason that I know what day it is. But still I am not quiet sure. Lately Edgar hasn’t been sleeping long. I got excited yesterday when he god up at 5.50am... yes! It is his bad. 
But then child pretty much hated good night sleep all his life. And it is the favoured blog topic, a moaning posts... (here, here, here... and pretty much many more...  )
This Tuesday after a very emotional Monday I felt ever so tired. Tuesdays are my days, Egg is in preschool and then nursery collect him, so I just need to drop him off and collect him in he evening. 
This Tuesday I was planning to go shopping for myself. But I just felt so deflated and a bit overtired.... but I did a bit more complicated hair, wore red (a happy colour)... 

And in the afternoon I had a singing and dancing session for about 10 minutes and somehow my day got better. 
I suppose as long as you have something active to do and occupy the brain you don’t think that you have been waking up before 6am for 2 weeks. 
But yesterday, Wednesday, the tiredness hit me so hard. I went to bed at 9.30pm but Egg woke up at 4.30am, then finally after twice putting him back to bed we got up at 5.30am... I think I have passed about for about 40 minutes in between these times somehow. I will be going to bed early today again. And I am very much looking forward to this. It is currently 6.40am... 

Tuesday, 7 November 2017

Job hunt

I have actually finished my course. But it didn’t work out as well as I expected. I guess I should have gone with my gut feeling and take just administration course instead of medical. Which I have actually failed. Well not all of if but some modules therefore I can’t get a certification I set out to get a year ago. This wasn’t made clear to me when they sold me this course. 
To make matters worse it is sitting there on my credit card still begin slowly repaid. 



I also stil waiting for my admin diploma. These guys proving to be a bit unprofessional... 
However I got new skills now and that’s what matters. 
So this mama set of to look for a job. And I find it super hard. 
I cannot work any working hours like I used to. 
I have a child care to think about and I dream about this magical life and work balance. Mainly I just want to be working as great as mumming is I need to have conversation with adults! 

And so it began. I mainly get no reply or rejections but I have been on couple interviews. One in a city centre hotel who assured me to call me back with an answer in next few days it’s been two weeks. For a 4 star hotel it is very unprofessional! I get it will be a no but email or a a voice mail won’t kill you, Clayton hotel, or would it? 
Then I had a great interview with an amazing surveryer company. The job sounded really excited and my CV been picked up by their head office... but they aren’t located in the city centre and as much as they in Cardiff wanted to accommodate me they just can’t since decisions like change to work hours will have to come from head office. But they send me a lovely email with a promise to get in touch if a part time position will become available. 
Two temping agencies also got in touch. One for admin I am just waiting to hear back from and another catering. Apparently I am a magic unicorn of catering since I can do bar and silver service. But with both issue is that I do not have a passport on me it is in Home Office... you remember that I lost my purse with my residency card in it... Admin agency want to go through with contacting the Home Office but the catering didn’t seem keen but did email me their contact details in case my situation changes and I want to work with them. 
With all this I am getting more and more annoyed with lack of flexibility... like one job advert i looked at stated working days Monday and Wednesday but “make sure you are available all the week” 
I have an interview in next few days. It seems suitable. But then again one never knows. 
It is like I have been punished for not going to back to my work place after end of my maternity period and punished all together for being a mother, for choosing my child... 
This is pants!
Anyone else feels this way?

Friday, 3 November 2017

Sleep...

August and September were great! Egg slept well at night, not through but he would wake up at 6.45am or somewhere between that and 7.30am and once he even woke up at 8.45am. 
But then suddenly he became a hater or restful nights and lover of his super tired mama... we were up at 5am or 5.30 no later than that. Evil child! 



It was horrible horrible times! 
So I took to internet... 
There were two opinions among English writing parents, either go to bed earlier or go to bed later... 
The lady in our local shop who has 3 sons said that you just need to ignore them, they would put themselves back to sleep. 
Being a true believer in the child that goes to bed late wake up early, I have decided to ignore the cooing toddler by the gate of his room. That didn’t last. He is very persistent. So I thought well let’s try to go to bed about 7.30pm instead of 7pm. And it worked! Doesn’t work all the time but it works. I don’t feel as exhausted all the time as I used to. 
Now I am trying to break the milk and bottle habit. Parenting is a war zone really! I got these cute doggie cups from Ikea... and now he almost doesn’t have any milk before bed time. He really not fussed on these cups just yet. There is a lot of noises and grumpiness coming from his room after the bed time but he settles... 
Not sure how long this will last but I am optimistic. Like it took two days for Egg to fall asleep by himself so maybe couple of days more and I can ditch bottles and night milk all together... (yes I have tried before but after being ill for most of September and not eating milk became a great food substitute)

But all that said he work up at 5am today... and now we both are in need of a nap!

Saturday, 28 October 2017

Mama juice

I never smoked. Well I have tired when I was 18 I think but it really wasn’t something that I liked. Smelly, horrible flavour and then everything smells... 
But I never had this trouble with drink. 
It is fun, nice and relaxing to have a glass of wine or three after work. 
To be perfectly honest it was more like a bottle of wine a day. Not great. So after my mum flew home I have decided to cut down and be more mindful about my wine consumption. Wine is my drug of choice. Well I love gin too.... 



I always thought that I drink because I am bored. And well this is actually true, it’s easy to sit down in front of tv show and chill with some wine... and not so much since you are chilled with wine. 
So I stopped buying wine and start getting fizzy mineral water instead. Oh I love these bubbles. And you know it was strange the 1st day and now it is just magical. I maybe have a bottle of wine over couple of days but I chose a these days. 
I became more productive. I eat less. I sleep better. 
Last week wasn’t great I wasn’t feeling great so I medicated with wine. But I can only drink like 3 glasses at the time since why would I continue if I can’t taste wine. Right? 
I think it’s a little personal victory over one self. And my liver will thank me. Did you know that liver is the only organ that can repair itself. And it’s takes just 2 days. 
Actually when I first started not drinking after about a week I had a gin and tonic... well I was very drunk very quickly. That was a strange feeling! And I didn’t like it. Had to go to bed pretty much straight away.
I don’t want to go totally dry. I enjoy wine. But doing is less and more conscious is definitely better then just get cheap Shiraz every day. 
So I guess my body is a temple and it deserves better kind of fermented grape juice. 

Thursday, 19 October 2017

Managed to watch bunch of films...

I have been catching up on some movie time. So when I would go out to cinema I would try to watch couple of films. And different films. 

So lately I saw:

Victoria and Abdul 



I liked it. Interesting story based on real events. Dame Judy is truly a national treasure! 

Wind River. 
Again a good story, well told. Like the end screenshot I didn’t realised that there is no statistics for missing Native American women... truly heart breaking. However the main hero is a straight white man seems a bit problematic in this story. But good film. However since it seems so real I do not want to see it again. 

Home Again. 



I enjoyed it. It was lighthearted rom com. Some people don’t see the end to the story but it is similar to under the Tuscan Sun it’s an emotional denial journey. But of course it is not Under the Tuscan Sun. 

Flatliners. 
I really don’t know how I feel about this film. It was a bit meh... Diego Luna with no shirt on that I enjoyed. The rest of the film seem a bit... meh. 

American Assasin. 
It was also meh. An ok action, very far fetched. Micheal Keaton was fun to watch but that’s about it. 

Limehouse Golem. 
Now this film did enjoy. Love a nice dark Victorian mystery. Even if I guessed the outcome a while before the film ended. Great acting too! 

But also I saw few films that I haven’t seen before. I saw Tales form Earthsea and Nausicaa of the valley of the wind by studio Ghibli... 



I also realised that when at home I don’t want to watch films. So actually making a decisions to catch up on films at home.

 I watched Passangers, I loved the film but wanted the different ending, the Bad Batch, honestly not sure about this film or what happened in it, and I finally saw Blade Runner.... and have decided not to watch the new one.
I have been told that I haven’t seen the correct cut of the blade runner... I just couldn’t engage with it. However I see why this film is such a cultural phenomenon and how much it has influenced all the sci-fi films that followed.... but not something for me. Maybe I will give it another go but not just yet... 

School germs

My baby boy started the school. Well preschool. 
He isn’t very sure of it. But I love my few hours of freedom. 
Don’t get me wrong I love him so much, I didn’t think this kind of love was possible. But being on maternity for so long I begin to resent all this motherhood stuff a bit. So yes I am free for couple of hours while he is in school. 
I am free to catch up on housework in peace. I am free to finish my tea without anyone climbing on me... you get the gist. But with all new kids and experience come new germs. 



And they hit us hard. 
First it was Egg. I even had to keep him at home, he had temperature and had to lay down to have a cough. Calpol helped with initial symptoms but we had to have antibiotics. And day three he was ready to take them as long as it was followed by the milk. 
Then it was the husband. He managed to sleep on the sofa a lot in the afternoons and actually feels better. But he really wasn’t 1st few days... 
And I have it last. Nose is running, feel super tired all the time. And cough so much that I can’t actually sleep. And now I pulled some muscle in my back... so I am lacking motivation in everything. 
But he is going to stay over night at his grandparents so I can sleep in... this is a dream! And it is coming true!
I just wish there was like a school bug vaccination. Wouldn’t it be great?!

Saturday, 14 October 2017

It’s been a while

Hey hey, I know it’s been a while... few things are going on. 
Egg is still ill... that’s sucks. But he has been given antibiotics so that’s good. But he isn’t eating well that’s really bad, coz it’s been going on for a while now... poor baba. 
We are also doing some diy in the house. I am the master of gloss! Yes! (Yes that’s a thing I am proud of it! And if you have ever glossed in the small spaceyou deserve a medal and a title) 
I have been to the cinema and out for a quiz and to the show with hubby dearest. 
I am also pretty much done with my course and in search of the job. 
And I trying to bullet journal and drink less! 



Here is school run selfie with this happy chappy! 
So as you can imagine I have a lot to tell ... but not much motivation to sit down and write it down. But promise to be better! 

Lots of love for now xx and catch you really soon! 

So tired!

School run is the only reason that I know what day it is. But still I am not quiet sure. Lately Edgar hasn’t been sleeping long. I got exc...