Very Small Feet

All last week we were off school. New class new year well new germs and new bugs.  I won’t go into detail about what it was about, it was ok and didn’t affect my tiny human much.  But he really likes school and routine...   And on Sunday he had an epic meltdown. Like refusing to go where I told him, running away from me screaming and throwing himself on the ground.  Moments like this I want to die, it’s hard it’s is so hard. But these are usually moments. This lasted a bit longer then usual... and he twice almost run into the open road, there wasn’t much traffic but my heart did skip a bit as I was gragging him back to the pavement...  My heart broke my kid wasn’t cooperating.  I lost my temper when we eventually got home. I yelled and cried at him. He of course wasn’t sure. My hands shook. I felt like a failure. Even now writing this bring tears to my eyes.  But then I remember... the makaton tutor was staying how everything with kids with speech dela...

My baby boy started the school. Well preschool.  He isn’t very sure of it. But I love my few hours of freedom.  Don’t get me wrong I love him so much, I didn’t think this kind of love was possible. But being on maternity for so long I begin to resent all this motherhood stuff a bit. So yes I am free for couple of hours while he is in school.  I am free to catch up on housework in peace. I am free to finish my tea without anyone climbing on me... you get the gist. But with all new kids and experience come new germs.  And they hit us hard.  First it was Egg. I even had to keep him at home, he had temperature and had to lay down to have a cough. Calpol helped with initial symptoms but we had to have antibiotics. And day three he was ready to take them as long as it was followed by the milk.  Then it was the husband. He managed to sleep on the sofa a lot in the afternoons and actually feels better. But he really wasn’t 1st few days...  And I have it last. ...