Very Small Feet

People come and go.. we change we are busy we priorities.... my little monkey comes first so I don't have time for anyone but him. Well you all can cook and wipe your own butts.  Yes being a mother is amazing... but it is also super hard demanding and isolating. If you have one mum friend cosider yourself lucky. I have them but hey aren't near! I love you mamas but you aren't in arms reach. And you have mamas within 2 or 3 doors to you.. you are so lucky!!    (I love Rhian hat much that even let her snapchat filer me!) I thought I had that friend thing figured out... oh boy was I wrong. My freaking maid of honour turned out to be someone else. Not someone I want to maintain relationship with... it is hard to make friends when you are older... but some how I have couple of people I am fond of! And we don't need to talk all the time...   Actually had some homemade cake and good company and a nice chat and sushi and secco later in a week... and I had my old friend over ...

Yesterday was good. Child had a fab morning with dada, I managed to do some studying. Then tot had a nap and picked on his dinner which was abit is downer  (guess he is still not 100% and still has that virus) but bed time was great. Fun in the bath, didn't fight with pijamas, I read him a story while he was sorting out his bedding... great day. I went to bed early in case he would get up again at 5am like he has been doing for past 5 days or so...  .....    I think this photo sums it up. He got up at 2.30am and that was that. I have tired everything ... more milk, teething gel, cuddles, take him to our bed...even woke husband up to help.... at 4.45am in the end he went to look into the gloomy night from his bedroom window so I hid in our bedroom while listening to him cooing and complaining until 5.30am I am in a very shitty mood. I love sleep. I need to sleep to function well. I blamed the kid for being mean to me and I had for a brief moment questioned our decisio...

We love our boy just too much... And we don't want him to cry at night so we always picked him up and cuddle him. So he won't go to sleep by himself ever. We had a brief moment in time when he did fell asleep by himself but he was just a small baby then.  And he also migrated into our bed. I guess with the moving we did in his first year of life it might be very complicated to  get used to one bedroom.  It is nice to have your baby next to you sleeping and hugging but not all the time and not when this baby takes all the space and also like to kick and pull your hair... Enough was enough and besides he is a big boy (relatively) right now so we have decieded to finally move him into his own room and to try to sleep train....  We have been doing if for about a week now... Edgar will have a bath, we get ready for bed and read him a story. They he would go into his cot with a bottle and  we will leave the room... And few minutes later he will be sound asleep. It is ...

We are actually away in Russia on holidays. Seeing the family, playing in the snow. Hubby for the 1st time ever seen the real snow if you like. If you are from United Kingdom you know that we, or you, don't do snow. It's all panic and everything stops. Here in Russia we, they, just get in with it. Stephen couldn't get it why my parents weren't excited that it was snowing? He on the other hand had a sparkle in his eye like a small kid at Christmas time second he spotted a snowflake coming down. We just returning back from our 1st time snowboarding! Oh my! This was so much fun. We had an instructor for one hour to explains the basics and show us bits and bobs. Excellent lady by the way called Anna. Imagine the snowboarding girl and you will see her, fresh blond smiley! Considering that a lot of my school mates and my step sister are very keen and always comes winter on the snowboard I never even stood on one.  But now I can tell you blime! I really didn't think it ...

Some of you might know that I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up... So I sort of always had an identity crisis. When I fell pregnant I thought "Oh nothing will change!"... yeah right! That so well I don't want to say naive.... but yeah totally is. I struggled a lot with becoming a mother. Do not get me wrong motherhood is the most awesome thing ever! But going through the change, having some one coming out of you is ... well extraordinary and so very challenging. I had a slight baby blues but luckily I was over that fairly quickly. But then I had hard time calling my self a mummy, or refer to Egg Man is my son. So I prefer mama, and that seem to make a difference. Feels more fun! Mummy is too traditional, too sweet, then mama is different and fun. Yes, I thought about this for a while. It is hard not to be just mama.. Especially if you are staying at home with mini me. All you become is mama. It is great if you can shift the baby weight and are ...