Relationship with body and with running!

I am a lazy person. If I do not feel like going running I won't. I sort of wish I was more well committed to running! But it is also comes with the fact that I don't actually have time, not really. Hubby works silly hours to keep me at home before Egg goes to school. When little one is in nursery I either catch up on house work or I am studying. Sometimes I am so busy that I do not get to sit down till like 9pm and then ideally I need to be in bed around 10pm because the kid will be awake early ... so I give myself a permission to be lazy... also I am taking a year off races. I blogged about this before but it is something I still struggle with. And not only that... I feel a bit guilty that I don't run. 

In a way I guess I gave myself a permission to be lazy. 

But and here is a bit but... I guess. I like me better when I was a bit leaner. Not necessarily thinner but leaner more tonned. 

(Big cheeks and very big hair)

I haven't been light thin since I was 15 and I am

Ok with it. I am also ok with my changed body after having Egg. I do miss sometimes going braless. And I am ok that I am more of the size 12 now. It's ok to gain weight and ok not to be the same, and I am happy with my body. I grew a human I can walk with no trouble for over 10k daily, my body is amazing! 

I was meant to go for a run with a friend but she had to cancel I actually felt a bit disappointed that we can't go for a run but I didn't go by my self... I did some cooking and tidy a bit. 

It feel like I have not only taking a year off races but year off running and this isn't my aim. 

And also just last week I have listened to Scummy Mummies talking to Ruth Field who wrote Run fat bitch run. She said that running is just really good for you, which is true especially now that I am in my thirties, and that it is easiest and cheapest exercise there is. Like I didn't know it before. But having some one else saying it, it made me sad I gave up on it. So here it goes at next available moment I shall go out a run!