Very Small Feet

Some days are just better than others and more eventful.  Good few weeks ago I had a really long work week, and on the way to work I found out via podcast that Guilty Feminist creator will be showing the film in Cardiff as part of the International Welsh Film Festival... I was however unsure, I really needed a bath and some well deserved rest but after talking to hubby who said “it’s a one off thing and will not happen again, you should go” so off I went. The film is called  Say My Name  and it is very very good. Strong adventurous female lead, fun story totally passes 6 laugh test and I even teared up at one moment. However it is unclear if more people will see it on the big screen. I never knew how complicated film distribution is. I have tweeted about it and got likes and retweets form creators and cast. I was so chuffed! Well still am, like this is my claim to fame!  Then after the world stanges Q&A I got to meet Deborah Francis-White, we chatted about the fi...

A while back I bought these massive bottles of shampoo and conditioner. They were fair trade and organic and smelled delightfully of lavender.  Then I also had a lush shampoo bar.  But the big bottles run out and so did the shampoo bar, so I got new shampoo bar and then that run out I discovered that lush didn’t have my favourite New shampoo bar in store due to “problem with an ingredient” I got another one instead that did work as well for me. However before I picked up a solid shampoo I did look at regular shampoos and all I could it plastic plastic plastic, cruelty free but still plastic. However my lovely coworker Chloe did say that some shampoo bottles are made from beach plastics.... I don’t usually have much time to read the labels I just look for absence of palm oil! Few months ago I wrote about sustainability in fashion and how I feel we don’t really need this much stuff, but making swaps for plastic alternatives seems a very important subject too.  I’m not going...

No sleep till Booklyn ... what no! But every day when I wake up at 5am curtsey of my son that’s what plays in my head. And I want to cry. It started couple of weeks ago his regular 5.45-6am get up suddenly changed to 5 or 4 am sometimes.  And I’m the one who gets up with him. It’s ok if I didn’t go to work or had a lay in once a week but with Holiday season here means work is intense for both me and hubby. So when I can sleep I m at work. And it’s great I have a job! But I also miss sleep.  Week one of no sleep I blamed it on full moon.  But now I honestly don’t know what to think. Day before he woke up at 4am but I just preserved with my day and mind went a bit blank when I couldn’t work out why it feels like I have been awake for hours at 2pm... well silly me it’s because I was awake for hours!  Yesterday he got up at 5am... I almost cried but he was so happy and so energetic, so after school drop off and gettting some essential I went for a nap. For 3 hours. ...

“It begins with blood and fear. It begins with a discovery of witches” .... Just in time for Halloween I guess and this time of the year when all the witches and ghouls are out and about the sky one (subscription tv service) launched the show called A Discovery Of Witches.  If you live in UK you must have seen posters or actual adverts of it. I saw the little special and it looked good to me. I love me a good supernatural story and a good love story.  And if that above has Matthew Goode and Theresa Palmer at its head count me in. Besides I am always been a fan of supernatural series, I miss true blood dearly even if they went well a bit bananas in some seasons.  Two episodes in and I couldn’t wait to find out what will happen next will they be together will Diana’s power grow and what this Ashmole 782 all about! After researching about the author, Deborah Harkness, since there is nothing worse than badly written source material, I dived into th...

Remember when a while back internet went mad about Dr Who being a woman.  Dr is an alien for crying out loud... surly it doesn't matter!  But it is finally here.  And it is rather great as usual. However why is only when Dr became a woman we are dealing with such earthly matters like segregation a and racism (Rosa) or Indian separation and creation of Pakistan? I love how these issues are seen through the eyes of women and female experiences coz let’s be honest it hasn’t been shown like this much. Women just keeping calm and carry on... but we are raging on the inside.  I was in floods of tear on both occasions... in actual floods. Would love to meet Unrbine in real life, such a strong woman!  The Dr did touch of sensitive subjects before but not in  such down to literal Earth and these aren’t necessary alien topics.  I just wish it all can be just in our (human) past and we can just used these events and lessons to learn, and not...

I am a proud member of a running club.  But I go so often that some folks there think I am new every time I turn up. It’s fair!  But I have made a return about two months ago and did so fairly regularly.  I love it. Such a bunch is supportive people and so knowledgeable about training, running, races and injuries. Find likeminded people and life is amazing! But I have a problem. Not only irregular work hours but also my terrible laziness and well unwillingness to go out and be active when it’s dark and wet, cold and windy.  But since I have a strange injury of the knee, and it was half term when I didn’t get to train much, I told myself go do it or you will fail at your next race.  My next race is today, 10th November.  I want to do it 2 minutes faster then last one!  I went to the gym regularly, always did hard rolling hills setting on treadmill and rather fast speed for me.... Wish me luck today!  Weather looks like deep of British winter, wet g...

So we made it to school's half term! In UK kids go to preschool and then school from about age of 3.  Egg just turned 4 and having him all day at school was terrifying. He is too little, too not talking and finds it hard around other children... or so I thought! It has been just few weeks in big school and he already has a best friend Amelia. We didn't know her before. When she was ill he missed her and when she did return after two days he run up to give her a hug and knocked and him self down.  He also has other friends and interacts brilliantly with them. Other kind find his speech therapy interesting and help him with these.   All ready for elements in daddy’s hat  He loves the after-school club he goes to, I mean I would as well, it's just bunch of kids all ages from school playing together and Egg been always curious about big kids. The gentleman in change of the club says its very interesting to see how big kids take care of the little ones ...

So this week has been long. And it haven’t finished yet.  Monday started with the child refusing to have a shower and get dressed for school. Not the school it self but the dressing process. So in the end I had to pin him down and dress him and we took the pj to school with us. Also I have discovered that the child has a new stage. When he gets upset with me or his one to one, when we say he can’t have something, he lashes out and trying to hurt us. It’s very unusual but I used he is exploring his emotions but not sure how to express them... we are working on it.  Also this happened at school  Meet captain black eye! He slipped on the cloning castle thing and wacked his head. Not as bad as it looks which is nice but he didn’t have one since he was born, here is to the 1st black eye.  We got more words: “why” is being used in context, so was “go away” and he just said “Wally” at Wall-e cartoon!  But yesterday again I had to pin him down to get him dressed.  ...

Why do I blog?  Well it’s seems like no one is actually reading my blabber but you know it’s ok.  I find blogging helps me form my thoughts. Help me out stuff in perspective I guess. And it’s my me time.  Easy achievable and accessible and well sometimes it’s fun.  I would love to have like this beautiful popular blog but it’s time and techniques I don’t possess. I am however thinking about changing it ... but I am not sure yet. And besides I am lazy! But I still wants to write stuff!  Like when I share about my son it’s makes me less alone and hope some one who is in the similar situation can read it and feel better too.  When I review products I just want to share my opinions. Same as before I buy something new I would like to know of product via it actual users of the product.  I don’t really think I can make money doing this but hey who knows (I am not that lucky!)  And personally I like that I don’t just talk about one particular topi...

Few weeks ago I felt a bit burnt out. I am doing very thing for everyone and not much for my self.  I felt angry and sad and super tired. I am actually a bit tired.  So I have signed up for Glossy Box to cheer my self up. I looked into other boxes for months... like a Japanese snacks, or one from awesome mama entrepreneur. But the postage from US is well... so unnecessary expensive!  Then I look at Boxciment and a healthy food/snack...  But somehow I just ended up with Glossy for 3 month.  Well it arrived! And I loved it!  It had hair treatment, sponge thingy, brow gel, lip liner,  antibacterial wipes and a bubbling sheet mask. Box’s theme is back to school, so it makes sense.  So it really fits into my coming out of the rut promise to my self. I have tired to use most of the products. The lip liner is a bit too much and I never used one but I will give it a go. I actually just put it all over my lips and lip balm on top, it ...

All last week we were off school. New class new year well new germs and new bugs.  I won’t go into detail about what it was about, it was ok and didn’t affect my tiny human much.  But he really likes school and routine...   And on Sunday he had an epic meltdown. Like refusing to go where I told him, running away from me screaming and throwing himself on the ground.  Moments like this I want to die, it’s hard it’s is so hard. But these are usually moments. This lasted a bit longer then usual... and he twice almost run into the open road, there wasn’t much traffic but my heart did skip a bit as I was gragging him back to the pavement...  My heart broke my kid wasn’t cooperating.  I lost my temper when we eventually got home. I yelled and cried at him. He of course wasn’t sure. My hands shook. I felt like a failure. Even now writing this bring tears to my eyes.  But then I remember... the makaton tutor was staying how everything with kids with speech dela...

We went for a walk today. Hubby, little one and meself. Then in the brumble bushes there was a distinct cry of a cat.  It was a little kitten.  All by himself...  Hubby tried to get him out if hideaway but had no luck so next thing I know I m trying to convince the kitten to stay with me. Well I plonked him into my bag pack and hurried home.  He had a little clean up and some food.  He was clearly hungry but our cat wasn’t very happy with us bringing another feline into the house.  So I have made called to our vet who gave me names of cat charities in Cardiff  Cat protection league Anne’s Arc  Shua  Calling charities was a strange deal but I was recommended to have him scanned in case he was chipped but then ache vets thought he looks like a little stray or maybe some one just evicted him from the house after changing their mind.  Well I am a bit sad I didn’t keep him but he is now with Anne’s arc and ...

I didn’t want to listen to pop music anymore. Britney Spears in school uniform was tiring me away from pop and then I heard it....  somehow I remember this as t was yesterday.  I was flicking through my homework books.. with radio Moden from St Petersburg where everything cool happened was on and there was a woman’s voice singing to drums and fun music  “Do you have an opinion  A mind of your own?  I thought your were special...” I fell in love... with alt rock music with Garbage and Shirley Manson...  Music exposure or any culture exposure was a bit limited where I come from.  I remember bying the cassette with pirated compallation of all of garbage. And loving it all.  I remember seeing the video on MTV when mtv still did videos of “I think I’m paranoid” ... oddly, now it would be a trigger song and will upset folks...  but last week my teen dream came true....  I jumped arms in the air singing on top of my lungs “when I grow up I’ll b...

This has been a very big week for us.  Our little boy started going to school full day. And it’s been so stressful... for me. Everyone else seems to be just fine maybe a little tired!  After we dropped him off I had a little cry outside the school. Because I am emotional like that and Edgar just turned 4 last month.  Not that he isn’t ready for school. I feel very scared for him. He still not really taking...  He is talking a bit more, made great progress over summer. He also now ok with other kids, which is a super great development! But still needs support, speech therapy, and he makes real progress! He now has a one to one teaching assistant, and she is great! And if we started the week with us taking him right into the classroom now he is happy to walk himself!  So neither of us had a lay-in and lazy start to the day. This week has been full on. Work, school, meetings and appointments... and Egg even that school is super tiring he won’t sleep past 6am... But...

I don’t need new clothes. I just need to update couple of things... coz you know I wore them through.  But how I dressed changed a lot since I had Egg. My go to bag not my lovely doctors bag made out of gorgeous brown leather but a big backpack full of snacks and toys...  well when some changes are just fine and necessary, like the bag or not putting makeup on everyday... the makeup thing is a bit libiratjng actually. But then some changes just led me living in jeans and tees all the time. Or is it sloppiness? Comfort? No sleep?  Once again there is nothing wrong with it but I love dresses... and shoes...  From this month onwards I will try to make an effort to dress more adventurous then just jeans. It won’t be always possible since my work unifor is also jeans but it would be nice to get stuff out to the waderobe and feel like I used to be.  (I need me a full lenght mirror, this is a cute dress from Gap and pixi boots with white socks and bare legs with favour...

Today we saw an episode of Peppa Pig when she has a falling out with her best friend... (yes my life is jis exciting)!  It made me wonder do I have a best friend...  When I was last time in Russia I met up with some girls pals I haven’t seen in ages.  And frankly we weren’t great friends in school we were just pals but I truly enjoyed spending time with them, listing to their stories.  It’s very nice to see people you know for such a long time and to see how they changed and grew...  I would like to think they liked hanging out with me too!  I also saw my mate who I used to work with.  We don’t talk too often. She is busy with two kids I am busy with mine and well time zones and opportunities and such...  Well we still confide in one another even if we did t see each other for over 3 years and barely talk.  Friendship isn’t defined by being together all the time. It’s more like do you have stuff to talk about support each other when you final...

A while back, not too long ago, my hubby decided to start calorie counting and to loose some weight.  And he is doing great! I, on the other hand, never actually did any diets. I am a believer everything is good in moderation...  but he got to me. Always talking about the food and dropping pounds super easy, or he makes it look like this. And I wanted some of that! But not skinny cheese... cheese should be tasty and fatty! We all are different and of course what suits him won’t do for me. But here is what happened. I have been using my fitness pal app to help keep track of things for about a week now. And I am staying on the target calorie intake which is pretty low but because I am rather active I get extra calories.  Cooking is now a little more time consuming I need to measure stuff up and such. Think because it isn’t happening as quickly little one gets bit hungier for his dinner.  If I find it rather calming to weigh things and enter them in the app. But at the ...

Yesterday was super long for us.  We woke up at 5am and travelled from village in South Urals to local airport then Moscow then London and then finally made it home to Cardiff...  I work up at 2am local time and just couldn’t get to sleep. Now sure why. And then there was no milk for a coffee and child didn’t want to get up....  And we met a block I went to school with in Chelyabinsk airport. He and the family were traveling back home to St Petersburg. I haven’t seen him in years! It was very nice of him to shout my name and have a chat! (Hey, Pasha, it’s been a joy to see you meet your little boy!)   Well Moscow flight was fine. As fine as it can be with small child. Then we were in Moscow airport that was very busy with no chance to get into any of the ladies toilets. Hear me, Sheremetievo you need more loos and better service. Your Costa staff are a bit rubbish!  Then he slept on the flight  For the majority of it too. I watched a Russian film which was ...

I had a London trip again last week this time to get visa for little one to go to Russia. So I thought must combine the business and pleasure ... and went to V&A.  Originally I intended to see Firda Making herself up. But guess what it sold out! Until Agust! Unless you are member, which I am not. And well briefly considered it but I don’t go to London often enough. But after enquiring at the help desk and a wonder about the museum I went to see Fashioned from Nature.  And it was great!  Basically how humans used nature in fashion... and it’s not nice. Humans aren’t nice when it comes to making clothes.  And upstairs were sustainable fashion... it made me happy and hopeful for the future. This lion cloth is embroidered and it’s fabulous! Hat from thorns! Yeap these things are actual dead birds.... as decorations... horrid!  And of course there was a lot on Fashion revolution and who made my clothes movement.  I’...

As you know I am a big fan of subscription box. I would try them all if I could! Well I am actually working on it!  Well this one is about Japanese consmetics and I have been eyeing it for a while. So about 3 months ago I have signed up for three months. And was very excited when I got log in and such for website. Very professional looking very similar to Birchbox actually.  From what I can understand its a small enterprise and I got to say I am very pleased with packaging. Looks like it been put together with great care and attention to detail.  However it took 3 months for the 1st box to arrive. And when I tried to contact them I simply couldn’t find the link or details on the website. So I have cancelled after 2,5 months as it renews automatically with a message that I didn’t get anything and would like a refund or the stuff. Once again I didn’t hear anything back and then suddenly few weeks later the box arrived. No explanation no note or email... there is nothing I h...

Some one told me that apparently the Russians were taught how to smile for the football world cup.... but then when I met some of the higher management of the company I work for I was told I am the smiliest person they have met. I am currently a waitress... so you get the irony, Russians allegedly learning to smile not at their friends and family, but I have been hailed the smiliest person. And when I was in Switzerland, while my Russian friends were happy to hang with each other and have Russian food parties (which actually were pretty fun, I have never craved Russian food), I would wonder off to my Asian classmates or with Brits in the pub. So one my mates once told me that I was a different Russian.  When living abroad most people look for familiar language, food and such. I guess it’s a comfort thing. But, you know I am ok without it. I don’t have any Russian speaking friends, well yeah my doctor is from Russia but we don’t hang socially. And sometimes I don’t get my mothers jo...

So last Sunday 10 June marked the centenary if women’s right to vote in UK.  Ireland voted yes to repeal the 8th...  It’s been few amazing weeks for women! Emotions are running high... and frankly I didn’t cry while in the procession, even if it was so emotional and touching... but I balled my eyes today. Trigger was the silly series I watch and some sad stuff happened so I am crying about everything that has happened in few last weeks.  I saw the processions advert in for a while but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do it so I didn’t singed up... so like a 4-5 days before the event I realised that I am free and I so should do this. With my son.  But he didn’t want to play to start with... so after a slow start and riding on my shoulders he walked most of the way in the sun with super fun processions.  We saw some excellent banners .. Heard some women sing beautifully. And girl guides chanting with all their might. You can see my...

I think I was listening to Guilty Feminist podcast when Deborah Francis-White said that her authentic self wants to sit on the sofa and eat cake all where, so she made her habitual self to crave practically yoga ... and so her habitual self became her authentic self... with me so far? And apparently for a habit to become the regural lifestyle and the way of life it should take 21 day...  So here we are, I am trying to be fitter and have healthier habits than just not sleeping, just working and vegging out in front of tv...  I also want to finally do Cardiff Half marathon and this would take some training...  Meet the tallest box in the gym. And I managed to jump onto it for about 5 minutes. And I didn’t fall down but I felt so powerful! I have been going to the gym for couple of month but not very frequently. But I am trying.  Same what that I am also trying to eat a bit more helathy, drink less booze and be just more organised and such. Don’...

So this actually happened, I have cancelled my unlimited card. After not sure how many years this is fianally happened...  Well I wasn’t going as often as I would like to and some months I won’t go at all an others I will go every week few times... and the cinema tickets are much cheaper than than they used to. So I finally said thank you but no thank you.... But this doesn’t mean that I stopped going, no I just do other things too.  Like go to the gym, we go to cinema together and I don’t watch every film there is.  I since I said no to unlimited I saw only few films.  Avengers Infinity war, twice. Still am a bit shocked... And Deadpool 2.  Which I enjoyed and giggled at lot. Also I didn’t know that Josh Brolin is so hot! Now I know! Now I am planning a visit to see Solo, of course. But then I don’t really have any plans. I should really try to catch up on my ever growing list of films I haven’t seen and want to watch.  Oh and of ...

We mainly go to see stand up and other variation on comedy. And well it’s fun.  I gave hubby tickets to see David Baddiel’s My family. Not the sitcom show. See I didn’t actually know any of his stuff but I know he is my kind of funny and when I heard him on Guilty Feminist podcast (their 1st male guest in fact!) I thought we should go see the show.   And it was great! It was funny and heart warming and we still do the red bull joke to one another. And I almost cried at the end.  Also this happened...     So wearing the same shirt!  I can highly recommend this show! David Baddiel is very very funny.  Then I recived tickets to see Scummy Mummies. I was over the moon when I found out, thank you Kirsty, that they are finally coming to Cardiff.  I knew I love the ladies sense of humour and giggle a lot at the podcast but I was a bit worried about the live show and I was taking my mother in law ...  But we laughed loudly, cheered and whooped. ...

I have been absent from sharing and writing here for almost a month. Well I was busy with everything else.  I have started work and trying to go to he gym regularly. Aiming at twice a week... Then we of course went on our much anticipated holiday  And now we all have a bit of holiday blues. And a bit of a cold.  So a lot to catch up on and so little time to do that. But I shall try to do it all! 

You know the summer is not far away when Royal Horticultural Society is in town. It was our 3rd time as well so all and all it was supposed to be a great day.  The grey sky soon cleared out and it was like a different day all together.  All the wonderful displays were perfectly on trend. You are aware that everyone is loving mossier plants now and begonias are very much in vogue! Especially spotted ones.  I think they went with less plastic theme too. All the nurseries and schools wheelbarrows were with that theme in mind and a lot of recycled flower arrangements and installations can be seen aroud the grounds.  The day in my home started silly early. Big guy refused to go back to sleep after about 4am. So he had a little nap so we could see things in peace.  Taking a spirited (grumpy and stubborn) child to flower show can be challenging but there was ice cream and lovely chips. We didn’t make it to kids area it was a bit disappointing actually..  But consi...