Very Small Feet

I am insanely sleep deprived! And yeah no one said babies will be fun, and I guess I blocked it out from the 1st boy! Anyway…  I always thought yeah I will breastfeed my kids. Turns out it’s complicated and hard work. And figuring out what to wear… and how not to flash everyone in the vicinity and many many more things!  It didn’t really happen 1st time around, we had really bad delivery and no after care. Boo Birmingham!  But I was very keen to do this with baby G. I made this known to my midwife… and somehow I was introduced to a breastfeeding guru in hospital. She helped me how to hold the baby and such. Even took a pic how to baby should be in the boob. It was rather odd but extremely helpful.  I did write about the planned sections already and how it was a great experience! And after care was great too!  Grayson lost a bit of birth weight, which is normal but they (midwives and dr) tend to get concerned. My milk wasn’t coming in. Then we met Gayle the breas...

Last year and this year are though... being in lockdown is hard. With same people all the time and I ve made one of them! But we had a most amazing maternity/paternity leave...  And I was lucky that hubby was still on furlough when baby G was born. He quickly took over all the big boy care so I could concentrate on healing and feeding the little monster.    And now we are back into the world. He is back to work, I started doing two short shift in the restaurant too. Fitting around days off and breastfeeding...  But I am yet to use my alarm. To start my shift at 7am I need to get up, shower, pump/feed get ready have a coffee, at 5.30am but it’s always one of the boys it up before that... not ideal  Same on the school day... so we all been sat and ready to do half an hour before we actually need to leave the house. And then I m trying to sort the life things out. I have time (fool I don’t) and energy (same again) to do so while Big boy is in school and hubby’s at ...

So we had a pretty standard morning.... But it all ended up with a quick trip to emergency.  Some one face planted into the shelf... And will now possibly have a small scar.... Thanks goodness he didn't need stitches and was a real trooper until the nurse was popping the glue and paper stitches on.  However that made me feel terrible. Am I a bad mother?  I really don't think I am. I m doing a good job, just need to be remind of it.  But babies learn explore and do fall, bump and faceplant.... It is all part of growing up!  But the guilt! The people would say that I m terrible mother... Why are we being judged?! ...  That' s all for today. I shall go now and keep feeling guilty!

Oh yay royal baby is a little girl. Little princess! How cute! You know how I said I still struggle a bit with my new identity in the previous post? Well I cannot call Egg "my son" he is "my baby" or "my boys" (when two of them obviously), but never my son... Strange right. Oh if you are a mum or about to become one, I highly recommend One Bad Mother podcast. It's so much fun! Little man is doing great, eat sleeps and poops. He gets super excited when he sees the pool and splashes with both arms and legs now. Swimming lessons are more fun every time. However he is way too interested in the edges of the pool and how they feel.  And now also he is on the move. Crawls and pulls him self up to walk or stand around.... I think most of babies crawling then they starting to walk right? But now at the same time! Mama needs eyes everywhere. But now he learns to fall down properly & not hurting himself. I would say we get ...

New years resolutions that no one keeps... Plans we make but never keep... Same with lists...  So technology is trying to improve us but sending us nudges and such. My runkeeper app every so often asks me to go running...  My friend Owen for last few years been set himself a reading challenge. Gosh that boy reads fast... I guess I have an excellent excuse to be a slow reader is that I do read no in my mother tongue! Yes look at me I speak 3 languages... Hahaha! I also find it hard sometimes to be motivated to sit down and read. Lay in the sun and read not to problem reading not in the sun is tricky for me. That's how I read most of books about Tempe Brennan .  I got Kindle for Christmas few years back and I love it! Love that I can read in the dark... But now I have issue with time... My little man does not let me read anything else than a kiddie book...On that note I adore Julia Donaldson 's books. You know the lady who gave us Gruffalo ...

I think we are super lucky with Egg. Our delivery was complicated and super traumatic. But our little man is happy and healthy boy...  Some people aren't that lucky!  I came across little Seth story on Facebook, some one shared this video. So here we are wearing yellow!  And now I know for what cause to run... It would have to be for children's hospital.  You can read about this brave little man here!   Seth! You are very brave! Keep up your good work and get better soon xx