Very Small Feet

All last week we were off school. New class new year well new germs and new bugs.  I won’t go into detail about what it was about, it was ok and didn’t affect my tiny human much.  But he really likes school and routine...   And on Sunday he had an epic meltdown. Like refusing to go where I told him, running away from me screaming and throwing himself on the ground.  Moments like this I want to die, it’s hard it’s is so hard. But these are usually moments. This lasted a bit longer then usual... and he twice almost run into the open road, there wasn’t much traffic but my heart did skip a bit as I was gragging him back to the pavement...  My heart broke my kid wasn’t cooperating.  I lost my temper when we eventually got home. I yelled and cried at him. He of course wasn’t sure. My hands shook. I felt like a failure. Even now writing this bring tears to my eyes.  But then I remember... the makaton tutor was staying how everything with kids with speech dela...

We went for a walk today. Hubby, little one and meself. Then in the brumble bushes there was a distinct cry of a cat.  It was a little kitten.  All by himself...  Hubby tried to get him out if hideaway but had no luck so next thing I know I m trying to convince the kitten to stay with me. Well I plonked him into my bag pack and hurried home.  He had a little clean up and some food.  He was clearly hungry but our cat wasn’t very happy with us bringing another feline into the house.  So I have made called to our vet who gave me names of cat charities in Cardiff  Cat protection league Anne’s Arc  Shua  Calling charities was a strange deal but I was recommended to have him scanned in case he was chipped but then ache vets thought he looks like a little stray or maybe some one just evicted him from the house after changing their mind.  Well I am a bit sad I didn’t keep him but he is now with Anne’s arc and ...

I didn’t want to listen to pop music anymore. Britney Spears in school uniform was tiring me away from pop and then I heard it....  somehow I remember this as t was yesterday.  I was flicking through my homework books.. with radio Moden from St Petersburg where everything cool happened was on and there was a woman’s voice singing to drums and fun music  “Do you have an opinion  A mind of your own?  I thought your were special...” I fell in love... with alt rock music with Garbage and Shirley Manson...  Music exposure or any culture exposure was a bit limited where I come from.  I remember bying the cassette with pirated compallation of all of garbage. And loving it all.  I remember seeing the video on MTV when mtv still did videos of “I think I’m paranoid” ... oddly, now it would be a trigger song and will upset folks...  but last week my teen dream came true....  I jumped arms in the air singing on top of my lungs “when I grow up I’ll b...

This has been a very big week for us.  Our little boy started going to school full day. And it’s been so stressful... for me. Everyone else seems to be just fine maybe a little tired!  After we dropped him off I had a little cry outside the school. Because I am emotional like that and Edgar just turned 4 last month.  Not that he isn’t ready for school. I feel very scared for him. He still not really taking...  He is talking a bit more, made great progress over summer. He also now ok with other kids, which is a super great development! But still needs support, speech therapy, and he makes real progress! He now has a one to one teaching assistant, and she is great! And if we started the week with us taking him right into the classroom now he is happy to walk himself!  So neither of us had a lay-in and lazy start to the day. This week has been full on. Work, school, meetings and appointments... and Egg even that school is super tiring he won’t sleep past 6am... But...

I don’t need new clothes. I just need to update couple of things... coz you know I wore them through.  But how I dressed changed a lot since I had Egg. My go to bag not my lovely doctors bag made out of gorgeous brown leather but a big backpack full of snacks and toys...  well when some changes are just fine and necessary, like the bag or not putting makeup on everyday... the makeup thing is a bit libiratjng actually. But then some changes just led me living in jeans and tees all the time. Or is it sloppiness? Comfort? No sleep?  Once again there is nothing wrong with it but I love dresses... and shoes...  From this month onwards I will try to make an effort to dress more adventurous then just jeans. It won’t be always possible since my work unifor is also jeans but it would be nice to get stuff out to the waderobe and feel like I used to be.  (I need me a full lenght mirror, this is a cute dress from Gap and pixi boots with white socks and bare legs with favour...